The Flowers
by Nevada11
Summary: The day before Valentine's Day a special flower arrangement arrives for the Captain. Inquiring minds want to know who sent them. Written for the Super Fandom Challenge at Live Journel.


The murder room was quiet. It was around 1 pm - the lull that occurred when most of the petty criminals and drug addicts were still sleeping off the excesses of the night before and the murderers and rapists were busy at their day jobs.

The detectives of the Major Crimes division of the LAPD were finishing up odds and ends of paperwork. Amy Sykes was occupied packing up the evidence from a recently closed case. Julio Sanchez was talking on the telephone with his mother, arranging to take her shopping on the weekend. Mike Tao was reading the latest Microsoft manual. Andy Flynn was using a spot cleaner to remove an unfortunate ink stain from his expensive necktie. Louie Provenza was working a crossword. All looked up when the delivery guy walked in carrying a large arrangement of lilacs and orchids. Buzz Watson, accompanied him, his own arms filled with sacks bearing the logo of the nearby deli. Buzz pointed the flower guy towards the empty office of Captain Sharon Raydor and headed to his own desk with the food.

Five pairs of eyes stared at the flowers long after the delivery guy had placed them on the Captain's desk and left.

Buzz had a difficult time getting anyone to pay attention to him long enough to reimburse him for the sandwiches. "Like you've always said, 'no cash, no food'," Buzz reminded him, when Provenza was slow to crack open his wallet.

"Do as I say, not as I do. And it better be roast beef on rye this time, like I ordered. None of that turkey loaf and sprouts stuff," Provenza sputtered.

"Is the Captain still in with Chief Taylor and the Feds?"

Buzz's question was directed to the room in general as he walked around, passing out the late lunch. "I know she said not to get her anything, but I put a salad in the break room refrigerator just in case."

"Taylor is talking about a new FBI liaison. Special Agent Fritz Howard got a promotion and won't be available as much anymore. I think they're assigning us someone new. She'll be stuck in his office all afternoon unless we get a murder." Provenza checked his sandwich and removed some offending vegetables. "I said no onions. What's so hard about that? Doesn't anyone take pride in their work anymore? I remember when Charlie Barnes ran that sandwich shop. He never messed up an order. Once during the riots he—"

"The era of free hoagies for cops is gone, sir." Julio pointed towards the Captain's office. "Isn't anyone curious about who sent the Captain flowers?"

"I am." Amy bounced over towards the open office door, taking a closer look. "That's an expensive arrangement. Think her husband is back in town? Tomorrow is Valentine's Day, you know."

"No one has said anything about him lately." Julio frowned. "I don't like it. Feels wrong. Should I run down the delivery guy? I can make him talk."

"Leave it alone." Provenza shook his head. "If the husband is back in the picture, it's none of our business. If they are from someone else..." The old man glared at Andy. "If they are from someone else, I don't know and I don't want to know."

"Damn it." Still scrubbing on the tie, Andy missed seeing Provenza's expression. "I'm going to send a bill to Taylor for this tie. If the city didn't buy such cheap pens, I wouldn't have gotten ink on it. It was a Christmas present from Nicole."

"Let me see," Tao said. The detective moved to stand next to Andy. "Oh, well that's not coming out. Maybe you can replace the tie and your daughter will never know the difference."

"You think?" Andy sighed. "Probably not. I can't seem to catch a break with this family business. It was easier when none of them were talking to me. Now they have 'expectations.' It's exhausting."

"$10.50," Buzz said, handing a sandwich to Andy. "And they were out of the pickles you wanted."

"It was only $8 last week," Andy complained. "And mine doesn't even have meat on it."

Buzz shrugged. "It's full price now for everything, no matter what you want on it."

"See! They're ripping us off," Provenza exclaimed. "It's not just me being too persnickety."

Buzz rolled his eyes. "Persnickety? Is that even a word?"

"Look it up," Provenza said. "Flynn, we need to find a new sandwich place. Amy, you're in charge of searching..."

Provenza rolled his chair to the side, looking around them towards the Captain's office where Amy was standing in the doorway. "Amy? What are you doing?"

"I'm a detective. I'm detecting. There might be a card." She went into the office, her actions clearly visible through the large windows. "Plus the flowers might need water."

"Water, right. Good idea." Julio followed her into the office.

Andy looked at Provenza. In a low voice he asked, "Did she say anything to you?"

Still watching the duo in the Captain's office, Provenza said, "Who? Amy?"

"No. Sharon."

Provenza glared at Andy. "Stop calling her that. The Captain doesn't discuss her personal life with me. I wish more of my co-workers observed that same policy."

"I think maybe I'm making a mistake," Andy said, standing and moving over to Provenza's desk. "Ever since the Nutcracker, I've been thinking—"

"Always a mistake," Provenza grumbled, peering around him towards the Captain's office. "Did you send those flowers, Flynn? Cause those two are gonna figure it out. And then it's going to be all over the building. Taylor will fire both your asses."

"I didn't buy her flowers," Andy hissed. "But, listen, maybe I should have. That's what I'm trying to talk to you about."

"And I'm saying, I don't want to hear it. Besides the fact that she's your boss, she's married. Don't forget that boy-o."

"You really think Jack sent those flowers?" Andy turned to look at the Captain's office. "I don't know how to compete with someone who isn't here, but isn't gone either. She looks at me and probably sees an alcoholic hot-head, with a boatload of family problems. Why would she even think about trading an absent husband in for all the headaches that dating a co-worker brings to the table? You're right, I'm really crazy to think she'd consider—"

"I _am_ right. And you _are_ crazy if you don't drop this thing you have for her. But you're wrong if you think you can't compete with Jack Raydor. I can't believe I'm telling you this...all he has on you is history and inertia." Provenza sighed and stood up. "But if the Captain won't shut and lock the door on him, you'd be wasting your time. Just like you're wasting my time, talking about this."

Andy shrugged. "Wasting your time? What? The crossword is on a timer or something? This is my life I'm trying to figure out. So you think there's a chance—"

"A very small one," Provenza admitted. "But let me pass on some advice a wise man once gave me – if you want to change your life, start with your tie."

Andy frowned, looking down at the ruined tie. "I don't have a spare here at work. Think she'll notice?"

"What the hell," Provenza grumbled. "Look at that!"

Tao and Buzz had joined Amy and Julio. Tao was snapping a photo of the arrangement with his cell phone. Julio appeared to be grilling Buzz about the delivery guy. Amy was searching through the blooms, her expression changing to one of victory as a small white square appeared in her hand.

Provenza stuck two fingers in his mouth and gave a sharp whistle. He motioned for all of them to get out of the Captain's office.

As the group filed out, Provenza snapped his fingers at Amy. "Give me that card, detective. You've got no business invading the Captain's privacy."

* * *

"What are you doing? Didn't you just tell me...Is this illegal?" Amy watched in confusion as Provenza prepared to slide the card from the envelope. "I probably shouldn't have—"

"Don't wimp out now," Julio said. "Go bold or go home."

The entire Major Crimes squad minus their Captain, were standing around Provenza's chair.

The old man chuckled. "Technically the envelope wasn't sealed. No expectation of privacy. Besides, Sykes, you're the one who removed it from the arrangement. I'm just an innocent bystander who found this on the floor. I'm trying to ascertain ownership."

"Innocent?" Tao shook his head and handed Provenza a pair of latex gloves. "Here, use these. If I need to pull prints on the card later, would be easier if you didn't leave any."

Looking a little panicky, Amy said, "I didn't think about that. My prints are on the envelope. Do you...I mean, they're just flowers. Probably just Valentine's Day flowers, don't you think? I mean it's not like there's a crime...unless there's a stalker. You don't think the Captain has a stalker do you? Oh, god, I'm in so much trouble—"

"For heaven's sake, Sykes, shut up." Provenza pulled out the card, adjusted his glasses and read the message aloud.

"I've always admired you and how you use your assets. Now seems a perfect time to get to know each other much better. Dinner, tonight? Call if you're interested. S.A.M."

"Who the hell is Sam?" Andy asked, grabbing the card.

"Prints!" Tao warned, too late as Andy had already taken possession.

"This sounds like a pervert," Andy said, reading the card aloud again. "What's he mean...Assets?"

Julio snatched the card from Andy. "And dinner? Some creep is asking the Captain out?"

Voices were heard outside the Murder Room.

"Quick, give it to me," Amy said, taking the card from Julio. "I'll put it back."

* * *

Five minutes later Captain Sharon Raydor was standing in the Murder Room, flanked by Chief Taylor on one side and Special Agents Howard and Morris on the other.

Chief Taylor was winding up his announcement about Agent Howard's temporary reassignment to Washington D.C. and his replacement, when Provenza got choked on his sandwich.

Fresh from their annual first aid recertification, the detectives vied for the opportunity to perform the Heimlich maneuver. Provenza successfully fought them off until he could cough it up himself. A slimy penny popped out just as the EMTs that the Captain had called arrived with a gurney.

"Okay, clear the area," Taylor said as the emergency medics forced a blood pressure cuff and an oxygen mask on Provenza.

"Damn, deli. I'm gonna sue." Provenza grumbled. "Flynn, get over here."

Andy ignored Taylor's instructions to stay back and moved to his old partner's side. "What do you need, Louie?"

The EMT tried to shoo Andy away, but Andy didn't shoo.

Standing beside the stretcher, Andy put a hand on his partner's shoulder. "Why don't you just take it easy for a minute and let them do their job."

"Closer," Provenza said, moving the oxygen mask to the side. "Get closer. Have to tell you something important."

"Yeah," Andy leaned in. "What is it?"

"Quick, tell Amy to steal the card back. Destroy it."

Andy frowned, whispering, "Why? She about killed herself getting it back in the flower arrangement without being seen."

Provenza directed his gaze towards Taylor and the two FBI agents. "I figured it out. SAM. This cannot happen, Andy. I couldn't survive it. Make your move now before it's too late."

As Andy watched Special Agent Morris rested his hand on the small of Sharon Raydor's back as the group walked towards her office.


End file.
